Anger - How do You Deal?

What do you do when you're angry? Do you scream and say things you regret later? Do you scream and say things you do mean and have been holding in for a long time? Maybe you retreat, withdraw. Maybe you stew and give the person the silent treatment. We all deal with it differently don't we?

I used to personalize someone else's anger even if their anger was completely baseless.  You know, the kind of person who blames everything on you because nothing that goes wrong in their life could possibly be their fault? Yeah, I was stupid enough to buy into that for a while. Fun times!

Over a great part of my life I learned that anger is bad, we aren't supposed to get angry. And if I caused someone else anger the right response was acceptance of the blame and walking on eggshells in order to avoid raising their anger again. I stuffed my anger. 

Anger turned inwards becomes depression and that's exactly where all this got me. Then I learned to recognize and accept my own anger. It's been a liberating experience. 

Like everyone, sometimes my anger is justified and sometimes it is not. Sometimes my first reaction is anger but, upon reflection, I discover that my anger is really a defensive reaction or my response to some insecurity that someone has touched or simply my irritability over little things because I'm stressed or sleep-deprived.

I don't like the way anger feels. It's uncomfortable. I feel shaky inside, if that makes sense. My heart pounds, my chest tightens. I hate it. And I can't focus when I'm angry or when there is any issue in an important relationship.

Picasso's Blue Period

Pablo Picasso is widely regarded as one of the greatest artists of the 20th century. He was born in Spain but fell in love with France when he first visited Paris the end of 1900 and spent much of the rest of his life there.

1901 was the beginning of Picasso's "Blue Period", so called because the paintings he created during this time (1901 to 1904) had a blue or green tone to them. They have a somber tone that some attribute to the suicide of his friend Carlos Casagemas which triggered a depressive period in Picasso's life that year. 

The Blind Man's Meal

Frugal Repast

Claude Monet

Monet's "Impression, Sunrise"

In 1872 French painter Claude Monet created an oil painting titled "Impression, Sunrise".  It was widely criticized as being unrealistic and appearing to be "unfinished".  In a search for the right word to describe what he considered a poor work of art a critic stated that the piece was more of an impression of its object than an accurate portrayal.  His intended insult of Monet's work spread throughout the art community and came to be associated with the growing trend of paintings that were more concerned with light and impressions of nature than with detailed, realistic portrayals.   

The video below showcases several of Monet's works.  The accompanying soundtrack is the first 3 minutes and 45 seconds of Chopin's "Piano Concerto No. 1 in E Minor, Op. 11: Romance - Larghetto".   

Monet created series of paintings that portrayed the same subject but in different lighting or from a different angle.  Here is one example - a few pieces from his lily pond series.

Monet loved his wife, Camille, dearly and was devastated by her death from tuberculosis soon after the birth of their second child.  She was the subject of several of his paintings, including the one below.

After Camille's death, Claude Monet's art became even more central to his life as he struggled with depression for the rest of his days.  He died of lung cancer in 1926.   

This is the first of the “at-least-weekly” entries about my work-in-progress book that I committed to in my New Year’s Resolutions.

Since many of you are reading about my book the first time, allow me to introduce you to my main character – Brandy Hill. 

Brandy’s ex-husband was mentally, emotionally, and occasionally physically, abusive. She went through a very dark time when they split up, and 10 years later has not fully dealt with their marriage and breakup. 

One good thing came from their marriage – April. April recently left for college, and the time alone has allowed Brandy’s mind to go to her past, resulting in another struggle with depression. 

This story (which, so far, has no title) is about Brandy finally facing the demons in her life, freeing herself from them, and giving herself permission to be happy again. It’s also about her helping April work through the damage done by her parents’ failed marriage and her own painful experiences with her father. This story is also about Scott, the man that Brandy falls in love with, who has a failed marriage and issues of his own. 

This is the story of a perfect, realistic love. It’s about two people who truly love each other, flaws and all. They acknowledge and accept each other’s flaws. They push each other. They tell each other what they need to hear, not always what they want to hear. They are always there for each other. They both mess up. They are both human. They each have problems. Through it all, they remain passionate lovers and best friends.

If you'd like to know a little more, please click here to go to my page about Brandy and Scott.  Stay tuned for more!