Thursday, January 3, 2013

An Explanation

An Explanation

This page is now being viewed by some who have not been part of my journey thus far, and that's a wonderful thing for which I am so very grateful.  Because many of you have not travelled with me to this point I need to explain "Brandy and Scott" and the intent of this page so that you may enjoy it (I hope!) in the intended manner.

Brandy and Scott are characters in the story I am writing.  It's my first attempt at a book.  Some of it is based on my life experience, some of it is what I would like to see happen in my life, some of it is pure fiction.

Brandy and Scott's story is my ideal romantic relationship.  Ideal does not mean perfect.  This isn't fantasy, perfection, constant rapturous sex and flawless characters.  It's what I think of as the perfect real life romance.  They each have baggage, each have obstacles they are trying to break through and they will help each other do that.  They will tell each other what they need to hear, not necessarily what they want to hear.  They will love each other unconditionally, flaws and all.  They will be best friends and passionate lovers.  They will grow both as individuals and as a couple.  They will accompany and encourage each other as they explore who they are.  Part of this exploration will be sexual.  

The sexual content of the story is essential to the story.  It's their expression of who they are and how they feel both about themselves and about each other.  It's a release physically and emotionally.  It's communication and an intimate connection in the truest sense.  Some of it will be ripping each other's clothes off, throwing each other on the bed, mind blowing sex.  Some will be sweet, slow lovemaking.  Some will be fun.  Some will be "I don't know what to say, but I'm hurting, just love me" sex.  Some will be healing sex. It will be "ideal real life" if that makes any sense to anyone but me. 

So my friends, old and new, that's what this "Brandy and Scott" tab is all about.  It's things I see or here that remind me of their story.  Sometimes it's things I think about that relate to Brandy and Scott.  I hope you enjoy this tab.  It's very near to my heart because Brandy and Scott's story is very near to my heart.  I would love to hear your thoughts and comments if you want to share them.

Blake Shelton - I Want to Go Home

This song reminds me of Brandy and Scott.  Both going about their lives, spending long stretches of time apart, missing each other, wanting to go home to each other.  Sometimes that' means a couple of days together in a city that they both happen to be in a the same time.  Sometimes it means they luck out and are actually in the place they both call home base.  When they are together, wherever that may be, they are home.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone, I wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters
That I wrote to you, each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
I would send them but I know
That it’s just not enough, my words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another airplane, another sunny place
I’m lucky I know but I wanna go home
I’ve got to go home, let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day
Has come and gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone and I wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I'm coming back home

Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Audrey Hepburn - Moon River

Moon river wider than a mile 

I'm crossing you in style someday 
You dream maker, you heartbreaker 
Wherever you're going I'm going your way 

Two drifters off to see the world 
There's such a lot of world to see 
We're after the same rainbow's end 
Waiting 'round the bend 
My huckleberry friend, moon river and me 

Brandy and Scott in a Nutshell


Neil GaimanThe Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” 

Eat, Pray, Love

I've found my word.  It's attraversiamo - let's cross over 

To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life. - Eat, Pray, Love

I think real love between two people does exactly this. Love will sometimes make us feel unbalanced. Terribly unbalanced sometimes. Unbalanced in the sense that we invest part of ourselves in the other person. It messes with what we imagined in our minds as the way we would live our life. The perfectly balanced, planned life we had in our mind. And in real love the honesty and realness between us brings us to realizations we don't like. We are each other's navigators in a sense. We help each other find our way through the journey of life. And we remove each other's blinders sometimes. And that is terribly unbalancing. And it can make us angry. Or we can accept it and love the other person for loving us enough to remove the blinders. This is the better choice. So much better. To help each other grow, in love, is the ultimate expression of that love. Because it's not just about me. I shouldn't lose myself in love. I should find myself. But it's about more than that. It's also about you. About helping you to find yourself. Helping you navigate. Taking off your blinders sometimes. And when we do this for each other it's about not just us as individuals, it's about us. It's gestalt! The whole being greater than the sum of the parts. And each of the parts being pretty damn amazing!


"Ruin is the road to transformation" - Eat, Pray, Love

Agree?  Disagree?  I agree very strongly that it can be the road to transformation.  Or it can be the road to death.  It's up to us.  It will shake us up.  Ruin means that our life had fallen to pieces.  It isn't recognizable.  It's such a complete mess, piles of rubble, little pieces all over the place, impossible to be put back together the way they were.  And we have a choice.  We can spend our time trying to put them back together.  A fruitless effort because we never will.  This is the path to death. Once our lives are in ruins they will never look the same.  We will never be the same.  It will be different.  We will be different.  If we accept that and truly use ruin as a road to transformation we, our lives, can be more than we ever imagined though.  Different, yes.  Unrecognizable, very possibly.  Wonderful, very possibly.  It's up to us.

She Rescues Him Right Back!

From Pretty Woman -

Vivian: When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would… I would pretend I was a princess, trapped in the tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly, this knight, on a white horse, with these colors flying, would come charging up and draw his sword… and I would wave, and he would climb up the tower, and rescue me. and then at the end of the movie -
Edward: So what happened after he climbed up the tower and rescued her?

Vivian: She rescues him right back.


Saw a quote today that I liked at first but when I gave it more thought I wasn't sure if I understood it correctly.  Here it is - "Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got".  Robert Brault said it.  Don't know who he is but I'm going to find out.

At first I liked it because I thought it meant something that will be an important part of Brandy's journey.  We all have people in our lives that hurt us or betray us and never apologize for it.  It happens for many reasons. Maybe they recognize that their words or actions hurt us but pride keeps them from admitting it.  Maybe they are in denial even to themselves.  They play no role in the hurt of anyone around them.  If people close to them are hurting it's always somehow their own doing.  They're not strong enough, or their thinking is wrong, or something.  Never the result of their words or actions.

I'm very new to writing but I have already heard a thousand times that in good writing the author doesn't tell us, they show us.  So I tell you about the things Brandy and Scott do to find time for each other and will tell you about many other ways they connect more and more deeply as time goes on, instead of saying that they were best friends who truly love each other, truly want the best for each other.  You care so much more that way.  You understand them in the way I want you to understand them that way.

Early on I mentioned that Brandy's ex was selfish and manipulative.  I've spoken a bit about their marriage. In the next part of the book we'll look at him a little more.  We'll learn about how he manipulates her and  how she faces it straight on sometimes and doesn't even see it other times.

"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got".  Two meanings I got out of that today.  The one I don't like - coming to a point where you decide that someone wants to apologize, that they are sorry, they just never said it.  I learned a long time ago not to read anything into what people say, or don't say.  If they're sorry and they truly care about you, and about their relationship with you, they say they're sorry. And you do the same.  We all mess up.  We admit it and apologize.  The other person, and our relationship, is important to us and we want them to know we regret the hurt we caused them.

The meaning I do like, the one that will be part of Brandy's journey - coming to a point where you accept that the person who hurt you isn't sorry and will not ever apologize.  It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.  It means that you accept the situation and the person for what they are and you let it go.  Truly let it go.  It doesn't eat you up inside any more.  It's how it is.  It sucks.  But it's how it is.  You don't spend more time and energy on it because it's pointless.  You care enough about yourself to stop wasting your life on these things.  You're not going to change it anyway.  You move on.  You put your time and energy into building a better life, the life you want.  Brandy will have to get there.  And she will.

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