Saturday, March 9, 2013
There are things I wish I had paid more attention to over the years. There are happy moments that I didn't know wouldn't happen again or wouldn't happen again for a long time. Moments of love or comfort, moments of pride or excitement. Experiences I regret taking for granted. It's one reason I write.
I try to pay closer attention. When I have an experience that touches me in some way I try to notice details about it and burn it in my mind. The first chance I get I put it on paper. I've come to call these snapshot moments. Those moments that, if I could, I would capture somehow so I could go back and experience them over and over whenever I want.
There are snapshot moments that were just me and my love in bed talking or laughing. Or laying against him as one or both of us reads or watches TV. Or my head on his chest when it's time to sleep. Simple and full of love and comfort.
A million moments when my children were small. Their little hands in mine. The innocent look on their little face when they look up at me and ask me something. Or their little voices saying "I love you mommy".
We used to go the beach every year. I wish I could open a box and experience the smell of the ocean, the sight of the sun rising or falling over the ocean and the colors it creates, and the feeling of sand under my feet.
There are many more from the past. I make a concious effort to recognize these snapshot moments now. I try to burn everything about them in my mind so that when they are gone I can revisit them whenever I want. And I try to record them in words every chance I get.
Recognizing snapshot moments is bittersweet. They are snapshot moments because they are fleeting. But they don't stop. They continue to come and go and the photo album in my mind and on paper grows. I will add photos of love, travel, my children's lives, and experiences I can't even imagine right now.