Friday, February 8, 2013


What should we expect? Should we expect the best but plan for the worst?  Should we expect the worst and plan for the worst so if something good happens then we are pleasantly surprised?  These were some of the points made in a recent online discussion I saw. I commented that we shouldn’t expect anything.  No one voiced agreement, but there were some that felt having no expectations was not a good way to live life and that they prefer to look forward to things. 

I have learned to expect nothing. I have learned to be self-sufficient. I don’t count on anyone else for my own happiness and accomplishing my goals and living my dreams.  Those things depend on only me.  Perhaps a more accurate statement is that I don’t depend on anyone else.    

I do acknowledge a flaw in this logic however, and a personal weakness.  We are not islands unto ourselves.  We do need other people.  I cannot do everything entirely on my own.  I have tried to do that in the past, and it did not serve me well.  I want other people in my life.  A shared burden is lighter, and a willing ear is invaluable.

I reach out to people for help and in order to accomplish the things I want to accomplish I will have to work with many people.  I will have to collaborate with and learn from others.  Friendships with those traveling a similar road allows us to learn together, share what works and what doesn’t work.  The ability to vent to someone who can relate to your frustrations improves the quality of the journey. 

I hope for these things.  I look for these things.  I don’t expect them.  I have friendships and I have met people along the way that are working toward similar goals which gives us each a sounding board. But we are human.  People will let us down.  I will let other people down.  I just can't let myself down. I am the only person I can count on 100%.

Is that sad or is that realistic?  I know what I want.  I will search high and low for it and do everything in my power to make it happen. I hope there will be people along the way that help me either personally or professionally. I prefer not to travel this road alone.  I prefer to meet people that can be there for me.  I prefer to have people in my life that over time,  I learn I can expect support and assistance from, but I don’t count on that.  I count on me.

Does that make me cynical? Does it make me cold? Does it mean I’ve shut myself off? Does it make me arrogant? The answer to those questions probably depends on whom you ask.  I like to think it doesn't make me any of those things.  I like to thin it makes me realistic, determined and strong.  Time will tell I suppose.

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